Darn

(5)

I like that! As I reread it I formulated a little spinoff phrase, 'the path of least enlightenment.' Sounds almost mystical. Maybe I can use it in an upcoming post. In fact, as I think about it while listening to BPC#1 it dawns on me that the phrase perfectly describes my very own path! Wow. I'm beginning to believe my own rhetoric about booze loosening the bonds of inhibition to allow the flowering of latent associations. Jez!

Hmm. What could be The Path of Least Enlightenment? I can only speculate at this innebriated point, but it seems to me that such a path can only describe the ideal melding of the Desire to Know with the Desire to be Wealthy. That is to say, TPLE must be the Path to God!

Hmm. As I sit here listening to BPC#1-3 again it dawns on me that the idiot Pat Robertson could make the same claim. Furthermore Pat could reasonably claim that his great wealth plus his miniscule enlightenment totally outweighs my great enlightenment plus my miniscule wealth.
And Wealth inevitably overcomes Enlightenment.

Darn.

Simple as That

(4)

Which brings us to tonight's theme: the difference between racism and snobbery. There is a big difference, it seems to me, between the two. Furthermore it seems to me that most of the high profile folks who spout the R word have little insight into the S word and as a result they do huge amounts of sociological damage. It seems to me even furthermore that those same folks who confuse 'racism' with 'snobbery' do so at at least a semiconscious level. That is to say, they know at that level that what they are condemning as racism is really snobbery. So why do they do it? They do it because they can tolerate racism far more than they can tolerate snobbery.

Being the 'victim' of a racist asshole is far more acceptable than being the 'victim' of a culturally superior snob. This is the Path of Least Embarrassment which the African American Community has followed over the years, consistently. It is time they woke up and smelled the coffee.

Simple as that.

His Big Mistake

(3)

Which brings us logically to the real idiots of New Orleans, Ray Nagin and his dumbass Police Commissioner. Nagin fired the commissioner appropriately and belatedly and the people of New Orleans should fire Nagin as soon as possible. What an Idiot! I am ashamed to have the same first name.

Following this thread through the week we suddenly arrive at... Bill Bennett?! Sorry, Virginia.

It seems that William Bennett mispoke himself on his radio show to the effect that, 'If your primary interest was to lower the crime rate you could do so by aborting all black fetuses.' Apparently Bennett was ridiculing abortion only, but the implication was that Bennett was also ridiculing blacks. Most blacks took the bait and we now have a very juicy racial firefight on our hands.

It seems that Bennett had read, in Freakonomics, that in the states where abortion had been legalized before it had been nationally legalized there was a corresponding drop in the crime rate 20 years later. The implication was that most abortees were probably black, and therefore blacks were responsible for the high crime rate. But is that logical?

It seems logical. But suppose ALL fetuses in those states had been aborted. Would not the crime rate have gone down? Twenty years later? Suppose only all white fetuses had been aborted. Would not the crime rate have gone down? You get the point, which is, 'abortion lowers the crime rate twenty years later.'

Bill Bennett could have made his point by leaving blacks entirely out of the equation and that was his big mistake.

Apologize, Billy! You idiot! You are a racial snob.

NO

(2)

I forgive my snobbery of course on the ground that it is hard-won snobbery. There is nothing phoney about my snobbery. It is all real snobbery. I am even something of a philosophical snob, but I have to admit that here I am on shakey ground. I probably know more about philosophy than you do, but nevertheless... so my philosophical snobbery is appropriately relative, nowhere near as absolute as, say, my musical snobbery. Which is a good thing.

And so when I watch current events I do so from the point of view of a snob. Which brings us to the point of this dittie: the current extremely sore spot in American culture relating to that phoney American Icon, New Orleans (boom).

I must admit that for me New Orleans has always been one of THOSE icons: grossly overvalued culturewise. Indeed, NO was always below my radar. But since the recent disaster I have learned that NO is a major economic center and ought to be valued as such. I chalk it up to the furtherance of my education, but I remain a skeptic regarding the cultural value of the big NO.

Should we rebuild it? Of course. And we should inport Dutch engineers to consult with (boom) the US Army Corps of Engineers. But should we try to recreate it?

My Never-ending Snobbery

(1)

Boy that was fun! Obviously 12 cans of Miller (which I bought at the booze shop, not KS) gets you drunker than 12 cans of 3.2 NL. Tonight I'm mixing in a little whiskey with some NL. The main reason for this is that 12 cans of anything is a bit too much liquid to process in one night. Another main reason is that a shot of whiskey now and then brightens my world considerably as I buzz my little brains out.

Just finished doing this week's 'gas log.' I didn't note it in the log but night-time gassing is way down this week. Hmm. What's going on here?

Tonight's music begins with MPC #21. I'll get to BPC#1 later.

I am such a musical snob of course, preferring classical music in general. But I also like some Western music and most of the 'modern classics' like Margaritaville. I like much of Elvis, and The Beatles, and others. But I only own pieces (disks) by Beethoven and Mozart. If I ever hear the others it is only on tv. I also own a few tapes (M and B) which I recorded years ago from the 'Arts and Entertainment' channel. Jazz leaves me cold. I consider it musical gibberish. But there is worse: Hip-Hop. Even worse: Rap. I consider Rap actually UGLY. Ugly music. Oxymoronic nonsense invented by morons. And not only does Rap bring music low it brings poetry low with it. I guess I'm a poetry snob too. Snobbery goes on and on and on... never ending.

My snobbery extends beyond music and poetry, to culture in general.

Now that I think about it I am also a religious snob. Can you be a scientific snob? Probably not. Therefore I am not a scientific snob. But if you could be a scientific snob - if that were possible - I would be a scientific snob too. Let's face it: I'm an inveterate snob.

Miller Ice

(9)

Which brings us to the Last Miller. It is now 0057 and there is less than a half can remaining. As I sit here staring at this wonderful can I see the 'girl in the moon' which is a Miller trademark. And I wonder: where did this Moon Girl dressed in red and green come from? Is she Al-lat? Or Al-Llat - the Allatu of the Babylonians, formerly worshipped at the Kaaba in Mecca? I don't know.

But I do know this: a 12-pack of Miller will get you slightly higher than a 12-pack of Natural Light. Furthermore I find myself wishing that there was a beer named, Miller Ice, which will get you wasted in a hurry. Note to Miller: if you decide to go beyond mild champagne then I would suggest the name, Miller Ice.

The Truth shall set you free... From Psychriatry

(8)

You must tell the truth. Simple as that. Furthermore you must tell the truth only to yourselves. Telling the truth to others won't work: they won't believe you. They won't understand you. Truth is personal not universal.

And don't think that 'telling the truth to yourselves' is an easy matter. Not so. It is very difficult to swallow The Truth. Other people's 'truth' may be easy to swallow, even tasty. But personal Truth can only be swallowed painfully. And you need to do it every day for twenty years at least.

Then, finally, you will be in a position to smile at the dumbass psychiatrist or the dumbass psychologist who pronounces you delusional.

Either, Or

(7)

Which brings me to my point: is there a method, a system, which might confirm our personal sanity? Is there some way we can verify that we are sane and that we can rely on our own inner instincts? There is. There is a way: The Truth.

'The Truth' is a psychological state. You will not find 'The Truth' in Nature. You won't find 'The Truth' in books. You won't find 'The Truth' in religion. You won't find 'The Truth' in the people around you. You won't stumble across 'The Truth' during a hike in the mountains.

'The Truth' is personal. You have The Truth or you don't have The Truth.

Either, or.

The Meaning of Crazy

(6)

What is MY disorder? It is one thing to go around pontificating on the 'disorder of the other;' it is quite another thing to cogitate on the disorders within one's own personal skull. And when we do it we cheat. We always cheat (faint thump). We are essentially dishonest and so we cheat. This makes us incapable of self diagnosis.

Therefore we have come to rely on The Other for an evaluation of our mental state, not realizing that TO is as fallible as we (I am enjoying BPC#1-2 as I type this). Suppose The Other is also a cheat? It happens.

It would seem to follow from the above that we are essentially incapable of coming to a conclusion regarding our mental selves. We are systematically incapable of truthfully answering the question, 'Am I crazy?'

Not me. I have answered that question. You have not. You could be crazy. I am not.

Furthermore you could be crazy and not know it. Indeed, if you are crazy you would probably not know it. You could go through your entire lives as crazy as loons and never know it because the people around you are as crazy as you.

Magical Thinking

(5)

I must say that I am enjoying the Miller Buzz. The current music is BPC#1-2. I noticed recently that Kootch has reduced her red wine intake to the equivalent of two shots. Good girl. I knew she was never in danger of developing a taste for alcohol. She's just not the type.

Which brings us to my notes (which really ought to remain secret). I had the pleasure of watching Gordon Robertson (son of Pat Robertson) praying yesterday (boom) for God to have mercy on Texas. Gordon's prayer was for Rita to diminish in strength. That was the first prayer. Gordon prayed for Rita to diminish. As Gordon went on and on it became very clear that Gordon was doing 'magical thinking' which is a well established psychological disorder. People who do magical thinking are delusional. They believe that their words can influence natural processes. Magical Thinking is fundamental to Fundamentalist Christian religion. In fact, it seems to me that most all of Christian Fundamentalists are victims of this particular disorder. Furthermore I have no doubt at all that most fundamentalist Muslims suffer from the same disorder.

This brings us to the idea that ALL Religious Nuttery worldwide is essentially pathological.

But there can be an essentially dishonest aspect to Magical Thinking: various disorders do not tend to exclude other disorders. In fact, disorder tends to associate with disorder.

On the basis of that observation it seems to me that the practice of watching The 700 Club every day might well be tandamount to the study of a certain class of human pathology.

Practice Closed

(4)

I clearly remember saying, 'Massey is not acceptable' twice to her, so there must have been more discussion which escapes me now. Massey remains unacceptable.

One last feature of this WKM with KP concerns the nurse's question in answer to my rejection of Doctor Massey: 'Then who would you prefer?' I answered that the current doctor might be acceptable depending on the results of the upcoming appointment. The nurse replied that 'Doctor (whtzhrnm's) practice is closed.'

More on this next week.

Massey the Assey

(3)

There was another interesting feature of that visit: Kaiser wanted me to fill out another 'privacy statement.' The good doctor, it seemed to me, tried to influence me to 'renounce' privacy, even going so far as to check the operative box. I refused to sign. I stated that only one person (Kootch) was to be given information from my medical records, and that no information was to be given over the telephone. The good doctor then scratched out that box.

What are we to make of this? I think (conjecture) that Kaiser knows about this blog and is attempting to protect itself from possible legal (tap) liability regarding any personal health information I might 'release' in this blog. Seems reasonable, but obviously any information I release can be easily documented by simply reading this blog. All other true information must have been obtained illegally.

One last interesting feature of this 'white knuckle encounter' with Kaiser Permanente was the revelation, by the nurse, that Doctor Massey had been assigned as my 'primary physician.'

Sheeit! Massey was the Kaiser doctor who had called the ACSD and lied to them! Massey was the person responsible for putting Kaiser Permanente at risk for the charge of False Imprisonment! Massey was the physician responsible for putting Kaiser Permanente at risk for a very juicy lawsuit! And Kaiser was assigning Massey as my 'primary physician!?'

I told the nurse, simply, that (stomp) 'Doctor Massey is not acceptable.'

Problem Understood

(2)

After she had given me the number for Dermatology I asked her for a favor: a previous visit had concerned pain in my right knee and x-rays had been taken but I had seen only the frontal x-rays which revealed a bright spot in my right knee. I wanted to see the side x-ray (90 degrees) so that I might locate the problem in three dimensions. She went out of her way to show me those x-rays. Strangely there was no bright spot, but the side x-ray showed a sharp point on my right knee cap which explained the pain, which was centered in my knee cap.

Another reason for the request (boom) was that on that previous occasion I had been attended by a sort of trainee. I had made the appointment with a female (Presken, in fact) but had got this trainee who tried to impress me with his anatomy knowlege and almost injured my knee in the process of manipulating it. That visit was a disaster from the beginning: Presken had called in sick that day, and when the nurse told me 'he will be in shortly' I got upset, advising her that I had made an appointment with a female. The poor nurse then did a little investigation which revealed that Kaiser had attempted to contact me regarding Presken's problem but that nobody answered our phone. That squared with my experience (I NEVER answer the phone) and I hope I apologized to the little yum-yum.

Playing to the Gallery

(1)

I've switched to Miller High Life in honor of one of their new commercials, which features the same music which appeared near the end of the movie, True Romance. I love the music but still do not have a copy of it except on my old tape of TR, nor do I know the name of the music or the name of the instrument on which it was played. I also loved the commercial, which might be one of the very few 'intellectual' beer commercials in an overwhelmingly macho genre.

A white-knuckle (for me) visit to Kaiser (tap) Permante this week for a 'skin lesion' was quite interesting (boom). The problem is a growth on my left temple which is probably a 'keratosis.' I gathered enough courage to finally address the little problem, and used the opportunity to assess the (several faint taps from above as I wrote that sentence fragment) official Kaiser attitude toward me in the wake of my last visit (faint boom). You may recall that It concerned 'severe airway inflamation' which Doctor Deborah (PJ) Presken felt unqualified to detect. I had revealed during that visit that I was recording the conversation. Naturally I wondered whether a notation to my medical information had been made to the effect that 'this patient records (tap) conversations with Kaiser personnel.' I was also naturally interested in (tap) any changes in attitude I might be able to detect.

The nurse ritual went as I expected except that the oxygenation test was ommitted, and the nurse was very cool. The doctor was also very cool. I would characterize them both as 'cool as a witch's tit in November.' The doctor, another female, was not only cool but competent. What she she may have lacked in 'bedside manner' was more than made up for in cooperation.

My blood pressure of 160/90 seemed to concern her (faint boom) and near the end of the visit she took her own reading (the nurse takes the initial reading) which yielded 140/80. I suggested 'white coat syndrome' as the culprit because my readings yield a consistent 120/70, pulse 60. And these are slightly high values.

The one thing which struck me about the good doctor was that she talked much louder (tap) than was necessary given the intimate nature of our situation. She also talked to me as if I were sporting an IQ of around 300 Kelvin. It was faintly irritating and I concluded that the good doctor thought she was being recorded and was therefore 'playing to the gallery.'

Nighty Night

(10)

I just witnessed a fascinating interview with Hugo Chavez on Nightline, Ted Koppel conducting. Nighty-night.

Insolent Conduct

(9)

I'm listening to my perennial favorite, BPC#1, as I sit here incubating ideas under the influence of a relaxed inhibition. In the meantime I've been reading my blog and I see that I failed to follow up on the one titled, Cure for Rectal Prolapse. I will do that now. 'Scuse me while I get my copy of 'Circumcision...'

Well, the list failed to grab my eye just now as I briefly looked for it in, Circumcision: an American Health Fallacy. However I found another equally interesting part on page 9 in chapter 2 (The Circumcision Mystique) concerning the Christian mystique surrounding Jesus' circumcision. I quote:

Mary carried the foreskin on her person.
The foreskin was entrusted to St. John or Mary Magdeline.
It was left to the Apostles.
It was brought to Charlemagne.
It was stolen by Charles V in 1527.
The relic emitted a wonderful odor which had a strange effect upon women.
After many travels and conquests, the relic emerged in 12 abbeys simultaneously including Paris, Bologna, Metz, Nancy, and Antwerp. It was used to cure impotence, infertility, and to ease labor pains.
A queen of Sicily was cured of an 'incurable' disease by the relic.
Some nuns (in an unnamed monestary) were said to have committed 'insolent conduct' with the foreskin.
Lengthy debates ensued over the necessity of possessing a foreskin in heaven on Judgement Day.
Saint Birggitta proclaimed a vision of the Mother of God holding Jesus' foreskin in her hand.
Saint Agnes of Blannbekin agonized over Jesus' circumcision every January 1, and had repeated visions of swallowing his foreskin.

And this is only a taste of things to come, folks. I promise to do at least one number from this glorious book from now on every Friday night. Stay tuned.

Good News!

(8)

I just took a break to watch a little of the news and it hit me, as they were talking about Ophilia, that all this talk about 'Global Warming' as the cause of these very potent hurricanes may be true, but not to worry: Global Warming will eventually shut down the 'Atlantic Conveyor.' The Gulf Stream will die. Without the warm waters of the Gulf Stream to amplify hurricanes they will all become tame as rabbits!

Rejoice. God is great.

A Very Funny Man

(7)

I continue to wach The 700 Club, of course, looking for laughs. I was rewarded a couple of times this week when Pat Robertson went particularly nutty. The occasion which sticks with me was when Pat suggested that Katrina was a punishment from God in retribution for America's failure to insist that Israel not abandon Gaza, part of The Promised Land.

Pat is a very funny man sometimes.

Insect Evolution

(6)

'Pet Fly' refers to a little joke I played on Kootch this morning. A fly has been flying around the apartment for two days now, and it finally came across Kootch and annoyed her. Kootch complained to me and I told her that it was a family pet and don't worry about it. Kootch did not like the idea of 'fly as family pet' and threatened to locate the fly swatter and do her duty.

Later at lunch I asked Kootch whether she had done the fly in and she replied that she had not seen it recently. I then suggested that what we had here before our very eyes was an example of Evolution in Action. Kootch was nonplussed of course.

I explained to her that the fly had obviously heard her threat to 'get the fly swatter' and had taken evasive action. I further explained that over the last several hundred years flys had learned a bit of English by Natural Selection: flys who understood the words 'fly swatter' had taken flight so to say and lived long enough to pass their genes on whereas flys who did not understand those words had perished and had not passed their genes on.

Kootch didn't buy it.

... it Couldn't Hurt

(5)

One of the other great items on TV this week was the story of the pet Dolphins who were washed out to sea by Katrina. The group has been found together and two of them have been rescued. Seems they are dependent of the aquarium folks because they have no social or survival skills and will probably not survive in the open sea.

President Bush has decreed today as a 'National Day of Prayer.' I have no objection, based on the wager of Blaise Pascal to the effect that, '... it couldn't hurt.'

'Niger vs New Orleans' refers to the relative weight of the victims and their relative attitude. The Niger victims are skinny whereas the New Orleans victims are obese. The Niger victims are apathetic whereas the New Orleans victims are pissed off. This tends to suggest that apathy is a result of hopelessness whereas anger is a result of hope.

Secularity is a Good Thing

(4)

'Under God?' refers of course to the latest challenge to the Pledge of Allegiance as currently performed. Seems Michael Newdow has now 'achieved standing' and is reviving the issue and the court of appeals has agreed to hear his case. Did I get that right?

I have to admit that the result will be no big deal so far as I am concerned, but at the same time I am in favor of a gradual secularization of America. My reason - in a nutshell - is that a religious nut is far more dangerous than a scientific nut or an atheistic nut. It takes brains to be an atheist or a scientist but any dumbass can be religious (now listening to Beethoven's Choral Fantasy). The most significant effect of this is that whereas Atheists and Scientists can quickly spot and ostracize the nuts within their ranks, Religionists are not so well equiped in that regard.

Religious nuttery has virtually destroyed the Muslim reputation in the world. Let that be a lesson to you Judeo-Christian nuts out there. And more than reputation has been destroyed: the Arab-Muslim scientific and economic future has been destroyed. And not by us. They have destroyed it themselves through the ignorance fostered on them by their stupid religion.

Allah Only Knows

(3)

'Last men down' derives from a scene in 'The Road to 9-11' which shows a very large gathering of Muslim men in the Mosque. Came time to do the ritual prostation and they all went down in unison, more or less. But there were three or four of them who took their sweet time. They stayed up so long, if fact, that I began to wonder about them. Why were they taking so long?

They seemed to be fairly young agile men in good health yet they stayed up literally until all the rest had 'assumed the position.' Were they checking out all the butts around them? Were they anal-erotic homosexuals? Or were they perhaps Allah's special representatives on earth whose duty it was to look for panty lines? Allah only knows.

Great Stuff!

(2)

Neil deGrasse Tyson is the new Carl Sagan. I've been watching his series (on NOVA) for the second time, and this week I confirmed that the one on Cosmology is my favorite. The story of Cosmology is so obviously superior to the story of Genesis that I am amazed most of my fellow men and women still stick with the VOOT myth. I live in a world full of idiots.

The other real standout this week, insofar as great television is concerned, was 'The Road to 9-11,' a documentary which aired on PBS Sunday night. My notes read, 'Attaturk! Spectacular! Very educational! The piece begins with the end of the Ottoman (being gassed here) Empire after the end of WWI and proceeds from there to describe the downward spiral of Muslim integrity leading to 9-11. I found it fascination from the point of view of a 'history ignoramus.'

Complex Ritual

(2)

The Bionic man concerns a double amputee (both arms at the sholders) who has been testing out a computerized system of mechanical hands and arms. I couldn't help wondering whether he would eventually learn how to unzip his pants, pull his pecker out, pee, shake it off, put the thing back, and zip up. It all sounds so simple until you really think about it. It is a complex ritual.

I also wondered whether he would eventually 'learn' how to jerk off, which seems by comparison to be a very simple ritual. This was one of the more interesting pieces in a week of boring stories about Katrina.

Bloody Week

(1)

Tonight's (faint left lung gas at 1836 as I listen to Essential Mozart) little agenda is:

bionic man
Nova Origin Series
The Road to 9-11
last men down
under God?
pet dolphins
National Day of Prayer
Niger vs New Orleans
pet fly

Kootch continues to work on her big bottle of Bare Foot, and in fact I just checked up on her: she is watching football, half a glass left, face not red yet.

I've confirmed my hunch that in C-III you meet opponents more or less in the order you list them. So this time the French are still with us, as are the Russians. The British were unfortunately destroyed, as were the Zulu and the Greeks. This leaves Rome (me), Russia, The Japanese, and the Persians. The Japanese attacked me so I conjured up an alliance with the surviving members and we are now in the process of dismembering Japan. Sounds yucky I know. Kootch has no idea, of course. The Persians are a most violent and persistent enemy as the last two games have demonstrated, and I will keep them on my short list. So went my week.

Nighty-Night

(6)

Which brings us to the end of tonight's pontifications. Lucifer never showed up.

Find Your Fig Leaf

(5)

Well, as you can see, a little alcohol goes a long way with me: I thrive on booze once a week. Why? What is the mechanism involved? I think it must be related to 'inhibition.' Booze releases me from childhood (Jewish?) inhibitions. That must be it. Booze must also, as a result, allow latent associations to flower into consciousness.

As I was writing about 'fig leafs' previously it occurred to me that maybe everybody has a sort of 'fig leaf' and that even I might possibly have one. It immediately hit me that maybe Kootch is my personal 'fig leaf.' She might be, in some sense. I know that I have used her as my 'Kaiser Permanente fig leaf'.

I should not need a fig leaf at Kaiser Permanente, but my feeling is that I do need such a fig leaf. So whenever I go downtown for a colonoscopy I take Kootch with me. I always insist that Kootch be present at the examination. I always record the proceedings on my voice recorder. Why?

Because I am certain that Jewish money and Jewish bias are working against me at Kaiser Permanente. I know it for a fact. The (possible) Jew, Deborah Presken, is only one example. There are several others, including 'Dr. Mangele.' My reasoning is that in view of my obviously Japanese wife the folks who will attend to me will begin to doubt the stories they may have heard about my bigotry, and in light of that, do their duty. What is my message here? See above.

Bad Idea

(4)

The notion of 'Jew in Christian (tap) Clothing' brings up a fascinating idea for 'Conspiracy Theorists:' America was circumcised (converted to Judaism) in the 20th Century. Is this evidence that, 'The Jews have finally taken over the world?'

Good question. I leave the answer up to you more down-to-earth folks out there, but my personal experience over the years seems to indicate that the question must be answered in the affirmative (demonstration above me just after I typed that).

And if the VOOT has definitely triumphed over the NOOT, then what are the implications of that? It seems to me that Pat Robertson and his OB fig leaf and his diamond mine are the implied result.

Could this be progress? Could Pat Robertson's emphasis on health (Skinny Wednesdays, for example) be sending the subtle message that 'dying and going to heaven' is a bad idea?

Let us hope.

A Jew in Christian Clothing

(3)

Been watching tv. It is now 2108. My subject will be, Pat Robertson, Jew in Christian clothing.

As you know, Christianity evolved from Judaism, and Christian sacred texts include the Jewish writings which I call, 'the Very Old and Odius Testament' (VOOT for short). In fact, the VOOT is much larger than the NOOT (New Testament). Furthermore, the VOOT contains much material which the NOOT lacks. In fact, it could be said that the NOOT is a one track testament whereas the VOOT is a far richer document which is really a sort of substrate upon which the NOOT is constructed. This much seems to be fairly uncontroversial.

What has interested me in recent years is the relative amount, in Christian teachings, of VOOT material to NOOT material. It seems to me that whereas about four-fifths of the Christian bible is composed of the VOOT, about nine tenths of Christian teaching is derived from that same VOOT. In other words, most Christians are really Jewish. Jesus has been reduced to a catch phrase in the prayers ('...in the name of Jesus') of a Judeo-Christian Cargo Cult.

Therefore it does not really surprise me that Pat Robertson advocates sexual mutilation as a kind of prophylactic: Pat Robertson is a Jew in Christian clothing.

Pat Robertson's Fig Leaf

(2)

Pat Robertson remains in the news! Amazing. ABC had another piece on him tonight. Seems FEMA places his charity, Operation Blessing, second only to the American Red Cross in regard to suggestions for contributions for the benefit of victims of Katrina. This could mean that Robertson's charity will benefit to the tune of millions of dollars. The ABC piece went on to point out that Robertson had been accused of 'misleading statements to solicit contributions for relief operations in Africa,' and that no action was taken against Robertson after he personally reimbursed Operation Blessing a half million dollars for the use of an OB aircraft which was apparently misappropriated. Seems it was used in some way to further Pat's personal African diamond mining operation.

Did I get that right!? Pat Robertson is into African diamond mining? I knew that Pat was a scam artist, but that much of a scam artist?! I am impressed. If the story is anyway near correct then Operation Blessing is Pat Robertson's fig leaf.

Drifting with Ophilia

(1)

Hmm. Seems I have a date with The Devil tonight. No sign of him so far... and in fact there is very little on the agenda. I get most of my ideas from watching the news all week and the news has been mostly about Katrina and The Big Soggy.

Kootch seems to have disregarded my suggestion to drink wine before eating in favor of 'wine as nightcap after eating.' Works fine for her. She apparently has a minimal need for sheer euphoria. Alcohol turns her face red.

She didn't do Acid either, but she did acquire a taste for Ganja, and was able to drop it quite suddenly and easily when the time came. She had a lot of trouble stopping smoking but managed to do it eventually. I would not allow her to smoke in the apartment. Maybe that helped.

Tonight's first musical piece is Mozart's PC#19. I am currently hung up on the last (3rd) movement...

Cosmic Log

(10)

Question: why, when I tune into MSNBC, does my computer think that I have already read, Cosmic Log?

Bad News for the Jews

(9)

me: This is bad news for the Jews.
lucifer: Be that as it may...
me: Are you claiming that masturbation played a part in human evolution?
lucifer: Exactly. Masturbation was the single most important factor contributing to the eventual success of your species over the other hominid species.
me: You can't be serious.
lucifer. I am serious. Human masturbation not only solidified the channels relating to the human pleasure center, it actually modified the human penis into what YOU so proudly proclaim today.
me: Wow.
lucifer: Exactly.
me: This has obvious implications for modern religion and pediatrics.
lucifer: Exactly. Next Friday night?
me: Date.

The Importance of Masturbation

(8)

(I think we'd better leave that for next week. When you consort with The Devil you need lots of time to make sense of things. And not only time: you need to tell the absolute truth to The Devil. You can bullshit god. God is highly bullshitable. But The Devil Knows.)

me: Are you suggesting that we have not fully covered the subject at hand?
lucifer: Exactly.
me: I presume that you are referring to masturbation.
lucifer: Exactly.
me: Is there something we should know about masturbation?
lucifer: I know. You don't know.
me: Wrong. I know. YOU don't know.
lucifer: Touche. I meant that you had not allowed me to fully explore male sexuality, especially in regard to masturbation.
me: We now understand each other (thump). Please elaborate.
lucifer: You have failed to sense the glorious synergy of human sexuality.
me: What do you mean?
lucifer: Masturbation was the single most defining aspect of human emergence.
me: What do you mean by that?
lucifer: By that I mean that human masturbation was absolutely essential in the process of - for lack of a better term - 'species improvement.'

Oops...

(7)

me: I understand exactly what you are saying, but for our readers who have never witnessed the 'skinback phenomenon' could you elaborate somewhat?
lucifer: What do you mean by, 'our readers?!'
me: Is there some physical analogy between the male foreskin and another body part?
lucifer: Yes, the eyelid. These two organs are somewhat similar. Somewhat.
me: They are both protective?
lucifer: More than that: they both have somewhat the same fluid relationship between the outer and the inner.
me: Thank you very much. I think that about covers our subject for tonight.
lucifer: I can go now?
me: Not exactly. You MAY go now.
lucifer: I choose not to go now.

Is the Pope Catholic?

(6)

lucifer: My idea was to hang the penis outside while at the same time protecting it from the environment with a covering. It was the easiest way...
me: Sounds reasonable...
lucifer: While at the same time creating a receptacle inside the female - who was designed to create the new life - into which the male DNA could be injected.
me: I follow you. But we are most interested in the design of the penis. Could you please elaborate? Is the human penis like the penis of, say, a dog?
lucifer: Sure. A human penis and a dog penis are alike in the sense that they both have a kind of sleeve which protects them.
me: How are they different?
lucifer: The penis of a dog has only a retractable sleeve, whereas the penis of a human has a sleeve which is both retractable and reversible.
me: Wow.
lucifer: In our human model the sleeve of the penis is like a reversible sweater.
me: Please go on...
lucifer: As you 'skin it back' so to say, it presents the ennervated inner lining to the environment which is, ideally, the vagina of the female.
me: Is the vaginal environment designed to compliment the state of the skinned back penis?
lucifer: Is the pope Catholic?

Connections

(5)

lucifer: Was that succint enough?
me: Forgive me but that was a bit light on structure.
lucifer: Oh yes! Damn. I must be getting old.
me: Can you give us a succinct overview of the structure of human reproduction?
lucifer: Yes. DNA needed to be transfered from the male to the female.
me: I follow you.
lucifer: The female then reproduced the result of the mix.
me: So far so good.
lucifer: But there was the problem of how to induce the expenditure of energy for copulation.
me: Right. And you solved the problem with the pleasure center.
lucifer: Right.
me: Tell us something about how you connected the genital organs with the pleasure center.
lucifer: Nerves. Nerves were one of our greatest innovations.
me: I agree.
lucifer: We designed the penis with plenty of nerves.
me: I agree. Could you elaborate?
lucifer: Our problem was how to make the human penis at once an external organ and an internal organ.
me: Sounds contradictory.
lucifer: Exactly. The Design Group eventually decided to proceed with my personal design.
me: Which was?

I'll Bet!

(4)

lucifer: The main problem was continuity. A beautiful species was nothing without continuity.
me: I see that...
lucifer: But the mechanics of continuity were somewhat onerous.
me: I don't follow...
lucifer: Fucking needed to be pleasurable.
me: Ah, gotcha!
lucifer: In the interests of continuity we designed pleasure into the mechanical procedure. We found that it was absolutely necessary.
me: I'm with you.
lucifer: In fact, the necessity for continuity was, so to say, the genesis of Pleasure Itself.
me: Whoa. Are you saying that the 'pleasure centers' in the human brain were created as an adjunct to human reproduction?
lucifer: Initially. But as the design matured we discovered many other applications for the Pleasure Center.
me: I'll bet!

A Vast Ignorance

(3)

Rather than begin with an overview of Wallerstein's book I would like to immediately address the vast ignorance which surrounds me. Relatively few Americans know (tap) anything about the original version of the human penis (thump) which was designed by the Lucifer Group when it designed The Universe for The Creator (I'm listening to the last movement of BPC#4 as I write this and I find as usual that it is difficult to let go of... somewhat like the last movement of BPC#1). Therefore as preface to what will follow I would like to conduct an interview with the designer himself, Lucifer:
----------
me: You will be pleased to know that the Kansas School Board has tentatively approved the teaching of Intelligent Design alongside the teaching of Evolution in science class.
lucifer: (turning red in the face) Thank you for this welcome information.
me: Knowing you as I do I knew you would be pleased.
lucifer: You know me and I know you.
me: My readers are eager for an 'overview' so to say, of the human penis from the point of view of the designer. Would you be so kind as to elaborate?
lucifer: Gladly. Where should I begin exactly?
me: Begin with structure and function (thump) please.
lucifer: Do you want the succinct version?
me: Please.

A Masterpiece

(2)

In what seemed to me to be an unusual Kaiser Permanente (?) interest in the results of Doctor Mangele's pernicious penile prescription, a nurse asked me, on a subsequent visit, whether I had followed doctor's orders in that regard. I replied that, having had previous experience with the medication I decided not to apply it to such a sensitive area.

Did I need that medication? I think not. I wash my dick almost every day and it looks fine to me. Maybe I need to examine it in a magnifying glass... Doctor Mangele was awful close to it when she made her pernicious pronouncement... Did she see something I can't see? Well, maybe. In any case I had visions of spontaneous sub-cutaneous hemorage following masturbation and shuddered to think that a follow-up visit to Kaiser would yield only the dry advice to, '...stop jerking off... and at your advanced age! Aren't you ashamed?!'

Which apparently brings us to the subject for tonight: Circumcision.

Since Pat Robertson's pernicious prescription of two weeks (or so) ago I have been occasionally looking at my copy of, Circumcision: An American Health Fallacy. It is my new 'potty book.' That is, I read parts of it when I am sitting on the potty. It's been fifteen years since I last read it, and I must say that it reads better the second time around.

The book, written by Edward Wallerstein, a Jew, is not without the kind of ommisions which are typical of an author who is writing about something observed but not experienced. Wallerstein could not have experienced a 'foreskin.' He had no intimate knowlege in that regard. But to his great credit Wallerstein produced a masterpiece in spite of that deficit in personal knowlege.

The Next Best Thing?

(1)

That was fun. You can be sooo deliciously irresponsible when you're drunk. I'm back early today after sampling some of Kootch's Bare Foot (red wine). She was watching Okra the other day and found out that a glass of red wine a day is a good thing healthwise. So I bought her a big bottle of it and tried some with her as we watched Millionaire on TIVO. That led to a beer... and you can guess the rest.

Meanwhile I'm not missing much in the way of news because it's all about the aftermath of Katrina and I'm about Katrina'd out.

The Pat Robertson thing is pretty much over for now. Jesse Jackson made a pilgrimage to Venezuela in order to molify Hugo Chavez, and now he (Chavez) seems to be offering to supply cheap petroleum products to poor US consumers. Tongue-in-cheek? Perhaps, but I think we should take him up on it.

And many nations are now offering aid to the US in response to Katrina. What a switch! I do hope the Bush administration will not turn any of them down.

The TIVO of The Week so far as I am concerned was the Frontline piece, 'Faith and Doubt at Ground zero.' What a show! I, of course, had lots of fun watching and 'commenting' because this stuff is right up my alley, so to say. Serious competition was another pbs piece, Why Dogs Smile and Chimpanzees Cry. The part I saw was very tear-inducing, and I will mark it for immunity, deletionwise, until I can see it.

Kootch has a mild case of Psoriasis and her doctor prescribed triamcinolone. Since I had a bad experience with that drug I looked up both 'the disease and the cure' on the web today. In Kootch's particular case the drug seems to have been well-(boom)prescribed.

The drug worked well in my particular case too, but the cure was as bad as the disease: my skin became so thin that I was plagued by skin breakage (stomp) and sub-cutaneous bleeding for years. My skin is has since recovered well, but now and then there is still an occasional blotch which lasts for a week or two. I mention this only because the same medication was prescribed (stomp) by Doctor 'Mangele' for a perceived case of 'balanitis.' I distrusted her medical judgement at the time and declined to smear that dubious stuff on my glans, where it would certainly have come (pardon) into contact with my inner foreskin with possible disasterous sexual results. The application of this medication to the genital areas is NOT (I learned just now on the web) recommended.

Question: Did the good Jewish doctor, unable to perform circumcision, resort to the next best thing?