Good Ole Daruma

(10)

Holy Saturday. I still have not finished all of my pint of whiskey. I have drunk three 3.2 beers in an attempt to follow the advice of Daruma to remain as sober as possible while I write this. Good ole Daruma.

Sometimes I wish his name was 'Sharuma.' I could relate more to a female.

I think I'll abandon this blog now and go to the living room and try to play Cosi Fan Tutte.

The Demented Will of God

(9)

Only six minutes left in Good Friday. Now only three minutes... one minute left... Bingo! (According to my radio clock.)

It is now Holy Saturday and Jesus has descended into Hell, there to spend the next hours burning with the rest of us. Presumably, The Father is watching us all burn with much godly satisfaction as He heals psychologically after thousands of years of watching us all jerk off.

Did you know that god hates orgasms? It is true. God tolerates orgasms at best. This is because God has never had an orgasm. Never needed to. No woman! The bible does not explain how He manufactured a Son. This is a mystery. One suspects that the 'Holy Ghost' is female and gave rise to 'The Son' after a good fucking by god, but this is only conjecture.

This leaves us with the mystery of why god is so hateful of sexual pleasure that He insisted that 'His people' be sexually mutilated by circumcision. It is a mystery.

Interestingly, modern science (in the robes of technology) is overcoming god's aversion to sex with various inventions like super lubricants which warm the sexual organs and super erectors which make the male nether regions hard. Modern science is overcoming the demented will of god.

A Good Thing

(8)

The good thing about this mass hysteria is that in the age of communication it does not go unnoticed. It is quickly identified by some political or religious entity or other and is exposed for what it is. That is, the very vehicle of mass hysteria nowadays (mass communication) serves to limit it severly.

As Martha would say, 'It is a good thing.'

Mass Hysteria

(7)

Enough of my favorite subject for tonight. Time to watch the news... nothing much new at 11:12, which leaves me non subjectivus mentos. Hmm. Reading my notes I hit upon the subject of 'mass hysteria.' Sounds good. I'll do a piece on 'mass hysteria.'

In the old days before mass communications the subject of mass hysteria (a Freudian term, I think) was suspect. 'Witches' were burned for hundreds of years as a result of 'mass hysteria.' This is the 'scientific view,' at least, and I think it is more or less accurate.

But the idea of 'mass hysteria' has assumed an even more important position recently as television has propagated news events worldwide. I think we are currently witnessing various cases of mass hysteria all over the world, driven by mass communications.

As usual it (it seems to me) is a case of 'good news - bad news.' For example, I see MH in the Terri Schivao case as a good thing, driving people to execute 'living wills,' and to wonder about their brains. Furthermore I see the same phenomenon causing marginal people to do very strange things, like sending their children to give water to the dying carcass of poor Terri Schivao. This is all 'mass hysteria.'

In my opinion 'mass hysteria' after 911 was instrumental in re-electing GWB. Mass hysteria caused millions of people to cough up money for the victims of the Tsunami. Mass hysteria rules the Jewish World, the Muslim World, the Christian world... and I could go on and on but you get the idea.

Logic vs Emotion

(6)

This brings us logically to the question of 'who created whom.' (If you are thinking 'your logic' you are quite correct: I write this stuff. You read.)

I claim that man created god in his own image. I claim that the telltale signs of this can be found in the bible. I claim furthermore that it is an emotional thing. You go to the bible in a certain emotional state and there you find what you are looking for. What you return with after an extended visit to the bible defines you, or at least your emotional state. In that sense the bible is an emotional sounding board. Same with the Koran. Same with all other religious books. All books!

Have you ever read The Origin of Species? No? Neither have I. But I have no doubt that we would approach that book from opposite emotional positions, and that our relative positions would define our eventual evaluations of the book unless... logic was able to overcome emotion. It happens rarely but it happens.

Dino DNA?

(5)

TODAY had an interesting piece about dinosaur bones today. It seems that somebody broke open a dinosaur bone and discovered 'soft tissue' inside. Although the 'stuff' did not contain DNA, it reportedly contained animal protiens which connect the ancient dinosaurs with modern ostriches. Eheh. Presumably many dino bones will now be dissected in hopes they will yield more 'soft tissue' and perhaps DNA itself. Are you a believer? Not me. I am a skeptic.
I doubt that after 70 million years of fosilization there can be 'soft tissue.' Show me!

On this subject of evolution there was an NBC poll which perported to show that 57 percent of people believe the biblical account of creation, and that 44 percent believe the Earth was created in six days. Only 33 percent believed in 'evolution.' This fits well with my observations of my fellow man over the years, and buttresses my opinion that I live in a would full of idiots.

On this same subject (evolution) I have been astonished by the series on geology, which implies a kind of universal evolution. Even The Earth itself seems to be evolving, fitting neatly with biological evolution! Herbert Spencer would be proud of 21st century science! Charles Darwin would not have been surprised.

I say this because of my previous ignorance of geology. I was well aware that cosmologically The Universe is evolving, but this series on geology is amazing even me.

Old Ideas Die Hard

(4)

The most important result of this case, in my opinion, will be that the average idiot out there will actually learn something about the human brain. It will be a socio-scientific plus for the species. sHe won't learn much, that is clear; but sHe will learn something, which is better than nothing.

'Soul' is the problem here. The average idiot thinks sHe has a 'soul' and that furthermore that soul is immortal and will live forever. This belief in an immortal soul places Hir at risk of being scammed by the various priests, rabbis, imams, etc., who claim to be able to intercede with god on behalf of the unfortunate soul-bearing idiot.

'The Soul' was invented as a metaphysical device several thousand years ago to explain the brain. The brain was discovered only several hundred years ago, and should have replaced 'The soul' in this scenerio. But old ideas die hard.

I Would Have Been Tempted

(3)

The question has often been raised: 'If Terri Schiavo can feel no pain, then would it not be a good move for Michael Schiavo to allow the Schindlers to have their wish?' This would be a diabolical solution! Michael Schiavo would be free to get on with his life and the Schindlers would be saddled with the constant care which the living carcass of their daughter would require. It would be a case of, 'Be careful what you wish for, you might get it!' It would be sweet revenge for Michael Schiavo.

As I have thought about this amazing case I must admit that I would be tempted were I in his place. I love revenge. But would I have actually abandoned my former spouse in the interest of revenge? I don't think so. But I would have been tempted.

Follow The Money

(2)

As I watched the amazing antics of the Schindler family's lawyers over the last week or so I began to wonder where they got the money. From the Schlindlers? Not likely. Yet obviously money is fueling the lawyer feeding frenzy we are witnessing every day on tv. Who is behind this money supply? All the world wants to know.

As for the Schindlers themselves, I became convinced that they are at best horribly deluded, ignorant people; at worst cynical profiteers who are using the tragic situation of their daughter to (stomp!) get ahead socially and economically, not to mention famously and revengefully. I see them as the villians in this drama. On the other hand I agree fully with Michael Schiavo and see him as the hero.

Good News Bad News

(1)

Today is Good Friday. It has been a good day so far and it's gonna get better before I'm done with it. That's the good news. Bad news is that tomorrow I will be in a temporary vegitative state. Good news is that I will rise again on the third day, in this case, Easter Sunday.

Good Friday is very significant for Christians because it commemorates the 'propitiatory sacrifice' (Mel Gibson) made by Jesus on behalf of us sinners. Apparently 'The Father' needed to be mellowed out a bit after witnessing several thousands of years of human sin. Apparently all that sin had had such a detrimental effect on the psyche of The Father that he was planning to burn those sinners in a flaming hell forever. Apparently The Son (Jesus) volunteered to go down to Earth and die a horrible little death as a kind of appeasement to the sensitivities of The Father (boom). Apparently Jesus' 'sacrifice' saved our collective butt from the eternity in hell which The Father had planned for us.

So we commemorate Jesus' propitiatory sacrifice on our behalf once a year at this time and we call it, 'Good Friday.'

Nature IS.

(9)

This idea of 'suffering as catalyst' is an ancient idea. Only in suffering, it seems, do we investigate our true lives. This 'investigation' is actually the process of religion. Without suffering there is no true religion. As we suffer we create our personal religions.

Don't think that I am proposing a 'supernatural answer' to human suffering; not at all:
Supernature is a scam. Forget about supernature: there is no such thing. Nature is.

Good golly miz Molly! It is almost three AM and I still sit here! Time for me to wrap this up.

The Mood of a Warrior

(8)

The 'name' of my blog is, heitai.blogspot.com. 'Heitai' is Japanese for 'soldier.' It is a misnomer. I had asked Kootch what the Japanese word for 'warrior' was and she returned, 'heitai.' So I want to correct a possible misunderstanding: I am not a soldier I am a warrior. There is a huge difference.

And I use the term, 'warrior' in the sense that Don Juan used it when he said, 'A warrior, on the other hand, is a hunter. He calculates everything. That's control. But once his calculations are over, he acts. He lets go. That's abandon. A warrior is not a leaf at the mercy of the wind. No one can push him; no one can make him do things against himself or against his better judgement. A warrior is tuned to survive, and he survives in the best of all possible fashions.'

Mythology is Substrate

(7)

Don Juan was Casteneda's main character. His first book was titled, 'The Teachings of Don Juan: a Yaqui Way of Knowlege.' It might have been a fraud, a 'device.'

In any case the book became very popular back in the '70s and other books soon followed, including my other favorite Don Juan books, A Separate Reality, and Journey to Ixtland, which rounded out the trilogy.

These books (The Teachings of Don Juan, A separate Reality, Journey to Ixtland) provided me with a new mythology. This mythology replaced my inherited Judeo-Christian mythology which I had rejected. I used the ideas in these books to re-structure my life.

The Function of Mythology

(6)

This brings us to the end of my notes. I've drunk a half-pint of whiskey and a couple of 3.2 beers. Daruma is still staring at me without emotion. I am still almost as sober as a judge.

This might be a good time for me to illustrate some of the previous passages with quotes. Lessee...

My favorite Casteneda book is, Journey to Ixtland. It seems to me to be an allegory of our lives. I liked this book also because it described my life in some sense, especially my experiences with Acid. I must say that I found those written words concerning drug experiences to be 'very thin.' Yet they resonated in the special way that true words move you. That is to say, Ixtland provided me with an alternative theology when I needed it most.

To Casteneda death was Nothing. Life mattered and what most mattered in life was to be a Warrior who eventually became in old age, a 'Man of Knowlege.' To me this was a revelation!

I adopted Casteneda's mythology.

Mass Wasting

(5)

I have added 'Rediscovering Biology' to my PBS classrom about Geology. I love it already.

I never got around to Biology in high school. Nor did I ever get around to Physics. I was way too busy trying to figure out Religion to bother about Biology or Physics. The saving grace of my high school education was Chemistry. I loved Chemistry! Chemistry explained everything.

Sometimes I wonder whether my life would have taken a different tack if I could have avoided Religion in favor of Biology or Physics. I think so. One (stomp above me) thing is clear however: my life would not necessarilly have been 'better.' Only 'different.'

Have you ever heard of 'the rock cycle' (boom boom)? Do you think that 'mass wasting' refers to a day on the 4th of July 2005 where thousands of people do Acid together in front of The Capitol? If so then you need to put 'Understanding Geology' on your Wish List.

Pussy on Death Row

(4)

Is there Pussy on Death Row?

I ask this question as an observer of modern media. I have heard from time to time of 'conjugal visits' from spouses of prisoners, where, presumably the prisoner can fuck his wife in relative privacy. Is it really true?!

And so I wonder about the women who have clamoured in the direction of Scott Peterson: do they really have a chance of matrimony? Will they eventually get Fucked on Death Row? I wonder, idly.

Don't Forget Ouspensky

(3)

Ashley Smith was much in the news recently, as the woman who turned in the Atlanta judge killer. What a woman! Not only is she good-looking, she is intelligent. Although she speaks with a 'southern drawl' we find her (Being gassed here. The VS is still running at 1/3rd power and the HHG is on.) somehow expressive of American Womanhood in general and we admire her.

I was especially interested in her 'story:' her husband had been stabbed to death and she found herself a single mother who needed a fundamental resource to sustain her and her child. She naturally turned to her religion and eventually stumbled on the book, 'The Purpose-Driven Life.' This sort of thing is very common among people who have been deeply wounded. In Ashley's case her major clue was her religion, which led her to that book.

We all turn to religion at times of intense suffering. But suppose you happen to be an Atheist or an Agnostic and you have no 'religion?' What then? Suppose that you are 'so far gone that you can never return?' In that case what do you do? (Major demonstration just above me as I wrote that: several stomps.)

It gives me great pleasure to inform all of you lovely and glorious idiots that in this particular case you are still in luck: there is something out there for you too!

In my case there were several resources. The first was Carlos Castaneda's series about 'the warrior' and 'the man of knowlge.' I loved those books, at least the first three of them. Later there was the outrageous Indian guru Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh, who 'sermoned' a number of books designed to appeal to 'outcasts' like me.

These two are only a sample of 'alternative resources' for those who have 'gone beyond.' There are many more of them. And don't forget Ouspensky!

A Great Spectacle

(2)

The 'neglect' aspect of her immanent death was seized upon today by that paragon of Senate morality, Tom DeLay, who observed that, in Florida, allowing a dog to die of neglect was a crime punishable by a year in jail. DeLay did not succeed in putting it that elegantly but we got the idea: will Terri Schiavo suffer for a week or two before she finally goes to Heaven? If so it is barbaric!

Tom DeLay is an ignorant politician who appeals to equally ignorant constituents. But I think that he has 'put his foot into it' this time. Most people know that Terri lacks the cognitive power to 'care about suffering,' even if she can actually 'feel' such suffering, which is highly doubtful. 'Feeling' is one thing; 'caring' is quite another.

Terri's lingering death will not bother Terri one bit. But it will bother us. As she wastes away on her journey to Heaven we will feel immense pain for her. We will suffer. That is the problem.

As Terri declines, the world news media will linger around her in an eternal voyeuristic vigil. We will receive news reports 'on the hour' of her progress toward God.

Those millions among us who have the most abject fear of death will be most disturbed. We will demonstrate our abject fear (of death) in various public places, and the news media will cover those disturbances in great detail. Terri Schiavo will not suffer one whit, but we will all suffer in her place as we unconsciously contemplate our own inevitable demise. It will be a great spectacle.

Dying of Neglect

(1)

Well, obviously numbering made the previous session somewhat more intelligible. I don't bother to correct this stuff, so the numbers help.

Tomorrow (saturday) is supposed to be a nice day in Denver, but the Terri Schiavo case is just too juicy to pass up. So I will repent tomorrow, on a nice day (they think).

Poor Terri. Now the US Congress is getting into the act. A Senate Health Committee has issued her a subpoena to appear before them later this month to answer questions regarding her qualifications to die. There is some doubt, apparently. Her husband was also 'invited.'

This case has been all over the news recently because in accordance with a judicial order her feeding tube was disconnected today. If all goes as expected, Terri will finally die of neglect in one or two weeks.

(Being gassed here at 1906l. VS is now running at 1/3 power. It could be another ugly night.)

My Mother

(10)

Which brings us to my idea of Mother Nature. She is my True Mother. She created me after tinkering with the universe for 13.7 billion years. And here I am. I owe Her. I love Her.

I owe Her my everlasting gratitude.

I do not owe Her 'worship.' Not at all. Mother Nature does not require worship. Nor does She require gratitude. I express gratitude freely, naturally, but Mother Nature is not a 'god.' She does not depend on worship for Her 'self image.'.

Mother Nature does not compete with Nietsche's gods who all laughed themselves to death after reading Genesis.

Good Night

(12)

I just finished watching Itzack Perlman do Beethonen's Violin Concerto on my VCR. At this time of early morning I am looking for my English copy of Cosi Fan Tutte. I love it so much. If you are wondering whether I will succeed in my search, standby...

I succeeded. But I could not figure out how to play it on my VCR. Nighty night.

Sayonara

(11)

This brings us to the end of this week's blog. Track 5 is playing on WMP. I hate to let you go. I love you so much.

More Daruma

(9)

After all that I eventually (t) turned off the VS. I had the other computer up and running with Creative Writer, ready to drog, but it seems to have turned out that it was unnecessary. No sign of gas as I write this at 2351L. Where was I?

Ah! Daruma!

You might not know this but Daruma is the Eastern version of 'guardian angel.' Daruma sits on your shoulder advising you if you are a Buddhist. But sHe is usually female if you are Christian. Many religions have their Darumas. It is one of the fundamental functions of religion that there is a Daruma around to see what you do. All 'modern' religions have some form of Daruma. Even ancient religions had some form of Daruma.

I don't think (tap) of Daruma as female. To me Daruma is male. On the other hand I think of Nature as female. Nature creates mindlessly, endlessly, whereas Daruma performs the personal function of an alarm clock. Daruma is not in the same class with Nature. Daruma is at best the servant of Mother Nature.

My Friend Daruma

(8)

Daruma stares at me from the top of my computer as I write this. He knows that I am more or less drunk as a skunk. But you would be wrong if you think (t) that Daruma disapproves of my current state. Durama does not 'evaluate.' Daruma goes along with me (being gassed here with LLG).

(At this point about 2310L I was forced to turn the VS up to full power and turn off the furnace and dress up in sweater and long pants and socks, my usual attire in the winter. I even fired up my old computer on the other table and prepared to go back to my drog. But as a last resort I retried my blog and connected.)

Tragedy

(7)

Suck hearty.

The subjects of 'toxic relationship' and 'gassey parade' refer to my situation. I don't really want to address the subject right now in my dubious psychological state except to say that this morning (tap) the gassing became so severe that even (tap) running (being gassed here for the first time (boom) tonight) the VS at full power failed to overcome the gas. I was reduced to spending several minutes in Kootch's room to escape the gas. It went on and on. Eventually I stumbled on a possible correlation: a Saint Patty's parade on channel two (faint boom).

This brings up the subject of whether The Jews are really at war with The Irish (faint boom). There is no question that a particular Jew (Walter L. Gerash) is at war with (stomp) a particular Irishman (me). There can be no question whatsoever of that. That question is settled.

But is it true that Jews in general are at war with Irishmen in general? I think not but I could be wrong (Faint boom. From now on I will characterize a faint boom with a 'b' and a boom with a 'B'). I could be wrong. I hope I am wrong. Not that I am a Jew-lover, but it is very clear that in terms of numbers the Irish would win a Judeo-Irish war (b) hands down. Why do I say this?

Courage. Jews have no courage. Irishmen on the other hand have immense courage. Furthermore, here in America, the Irish outnumber the Jews at least six to one. No contest. In a cultural-ethnic war the Irish would vanquish the Jews. And it would be a tragedy.

Suck!

(6)

I've been following 'the Churchill phenomenon' on the recent news, of course, especially on the FOX News Channel. Time for me to 'weigh in.'

I don't like his looks. His hair is way too long. He obviously needs a haircut. He referred in his classroom to the 'victims of 911' as 'economic nazis.'

On the other hand he is being attacked remorsely by the FOX News minions. This causes me to take another look at the dude in spite of my initial revulsion.

My opinion is that FOX is way off base here. College professors ought to have the freedom to express ideas which may not be 'correct.' Otherwise we lose the most sacred aspect of our Free Democracy, and our little 'democracy' becomes a Theocracy. Down with FOX NEWS! Up with free expression! Suck on THAT, boys and girls!

Hoping Against Hope

(5)

Hoping against hope. This brings us to the idea of 'hope.' Is hope a good thing?

Clearly, from what has gone before, a little hope is a good thing, but you can have too much hope. There is an old irreverant saying about hope: 'Hope in one hand and shit in the other hand, then weigh the results.' This old scatological joke says a lot about 'hope.' Hope, like Faith, can be abused.

What about charity? Charity is another word for Love. Can you have too much Charity? Too much love? I don't know. Faith and Hope relate to cause and effect such that excesses can lead to disaster. Love is different unless it is adulterated with Faith or Hope.

Pure Love seems to be unanswerable.

The bible says that 'the greatest of these is love.' Maybe. But I don't think the bible addresses Courage in any meaningful way. Courage is essential. You can hope in one hand, you can believe your ass off on the other hand, you can even love all of the above. But unless you have courage you are lost forever. No Courage no Life.

Bad Faith

(4)

The previous note was inspired by a piece on NBC News. As I wrote the note on the back of the envelope I was thinking that here was a case of 'the institutional fear of death' taken to its ludicrous conclusion. There may or may not be good economic and or scientific reasons for abandoning Hubble but I have not seen any of them yet.

'True Believer' refers to the FOX News Channel. I watch FOX from time to time during the day, flipping sequentially from FOX to MSNBC to CNN to FOX... FOX is clearly a political entity, and a 'right wing' political entity at that. FOX is not an 'objective news source.' Take for example the most famous FOX invention: 'homicide bomber.' All other news sources refer to this well known phenomenon as 'suicide bomber.' But over the years FOX has stubbornly refused to acknowlege the self-sacrificial aspect of this particular abomination, focusing exclusively on the homicidal aspect. Occasionally the words, 'suicide bomber' escape the unwary commentator or reporter on FOX. These occasions are rare but I have witnessed them. I conclude that it is the policy of FOX to require their people to report suicide bombings as 'homicide bombings.' Why?

I suppose there are several components to the explanation. The first must be related somehow to the universal human imperative to deny death. Suicide is the most intimate form of death. Homocide is the least intimate form of death. Furthermore, in the case of the suicider, hiR death is an act of ultimate faith based on religious conviction. FOX denies this intimacy and this faith.
Could FOX be denying that Muslim faith exceeds Judeo-Christian faith? I think so.

Faith is a bad thing in the Stock Market. 'Faith' is a bad in general when it is applied outside the natural realm. You can have too much faith. You need just enough faith, but too much faith is harmful. FOX recognizes this aspect of faith and denies it at the same time.

True Believers have excess faith. They can become marytrs. They can send their last dollars to a religious scoundrel. They can live out their glorious lives in some stupid convent hoping...

Shame on NASA

(3)

Fear and loathing.. refers to the recent NASA decision to abandon Hubble in favor of the ISS (International Space Station) on the ground that dead astronauts are politically unacceptable. Nonsense! Dead astronauts are even more acceptable than dead soldiers! Dead astronauts are glorious heroes deserving of the most intense national mourning and celebration! Dead soldiers may come and go, but dead astronauts are a rarity worth thinking about! Worth loving!

Dead soldiers are a dime a dozen nowadays, anyway.

And so I take up the cudgel, so to say, against a pansy NASA, which would rather sacrifice a True National Treasure like the Space Shuttle for an international boondoggle like the ISS. Somebody at NASA needs to be relieved, and I don't mean bathroomwise.

Courage

(2)

You'll be happy to know that Daruma still sits atop my computer staring at me, reminding me to 'act sober.' Good ole Daruma.

I write notes to myself on the backs of envelopes whose contents are of no interest. Instead of throwing them into the trash I use them as note fodder. I just discovered an old unused series of notes I intended to use last week. Among the notes are references to, 'Martha, Steve Fossett, and Ten Commandments.' Somehow those notes got lost last week and will therefore never achieve elucidation. Poor notes.

This week's notes are: Rather-courage-class act; toxic relationships; True Believers; Fear and Loathing at NASA; Gassey parade; Crooked Cops. I may not get to them all.

Dan Rather left CBS Evening News this week, his final message: 'Courage.' To quote the messenger himself, "A single picture may be worth a thousand words, but sometimes a single word can be worth a thousand pictures.' 'Courage' qualifies. If I may misquote The Bible slightly, '... and so there are these three things, Faith, Hope, and Charity, but the greatest of these is Courage.'

Beethoven vs Mozart

(1)

Fun rereading that, but I had totally forgot about the 'interview with God.' What was I thinking? I don't have a clue as I write this but maybe I can come up with something... later.

This is the time of year when Nature begins to impose Herself on my hungover Saturdays. During the winter every Saturday is pretty much hangoverable, but as Spring approaches I begin to pick and choose my hangover days based on forecast high temperatures. Today was too good a day to waste on a hangover, so I forgew my usual Friday night drunk. You understand.

As I drove to a little presnowstorm-prehangover visit at KSS today I had the pleasure of hearing another of my favorites on KVOD: one of Mozart's violin concertos. I think Mozart wrote five of them, most of them light and fluffy, like cotton candy and ice cream on a warm summer afternoon. Beethoven wrote only one violin concerto and only five piano concertos compared to Mozart's twenty seven (I think). Beethoven's violin concerto is sometimes refered to as, 'THE violin concerto,' with good reason.

I'll be Back

(9)

This brings us to the end of this week's blog. I'll be back. But before I leave you I want to mention my great pleasure as I drove to KSS this afternoon listening to KVOD: the first movement of BPC#1 was playing. As I drove into the parking lot it ended and the second movement began. I had only a few minutes before my favorite movement (3rd) presented, and so I rushed my shopping. I got back to the car just after the third movement began. I listened with great interest, making note of the difference in artistic style between what appeared on KVOD and what I listened to every Friday night as I transitioned to glorious drunkedness.

I must tell you this: the version I have is the definitive version of Beethoven's Piano Concerto number one. KVOD meant well. I love KVOD. But the version they played this afternoon was inferior to the version I listen to every Friday night: a Philips CD. The notes at the bottom of the CD are: Steven Kovaceivch/Arthur Grumiaux BBC Symphony Orchrestra/Royal Concertgebouw Orchestra Sir Colin Davis/ Bernard Haitink.

This brings up the subject of whether you really want to 'associate' with me.

Could be dangerous.

Smiling at Daruma

(8)

As I sit here poking my tongue out at Daruma I realize that Daruma - idiot that he is - has saved me from ludicrosity this evening, and that I might owe some sort of a reward to Daruma. He sits there on top of my computer staring at me with eyes wide open, never flinching. As I contemplate Daruma I smile. Hmm.

Waiting For Evil

(7)

Having related to you the Ultimate Scenerio I will allow you to relax for a week. But I should in good conscience point out to you that I have conjured up in that last vision the waiting room of a lawyer or a psychiatrist. Evil people! I want to repeat my opinion just in case you have never met a lawyer; just in case you have never met a psychiatrist: You find yourselves in the waiting room of Evil People. That is the Scenerio.

I could have set the scene in the office of a detective in the ACSD. I could have conjured up a scene with your favorite lawyer. But I have chosen to set this scene in the waiting room of the Jewish God WHTZSNM. You will sit there expectantly until god's secretary comes into the room and informs you that, 'GOD will see you now.'

Nature Versus Supernature

(6)

You and I know from our limited scientific education that without a brain there is nothing. We know that without a nervous system there can be no feeling, no thinking. Nothing in Nature suggests any exception whatsoever. But suppose we are wrong about that (tap). Suppose we are wrong and that after we die we find ourselves in another world, facing God, due to an unknown aspect of Nature we call 'the supernatural.'

If memory serves us at such a time it must come as a pleasant surprise, initially. We would be surprised. We expected to be dead forever but here we are, alive, in some room. It is a small room with little furniture: two chairs and two tables; a carpet; a replica of Michaelangelo's painting of The Last Judgement. We are astonished.

As we inspect the room while we wait we notice other artifacts besides the painting: there is a large Crucifix on the other main wall. There is a beautiful painting of a woman and a child above the entry door and on the remaining wall is a painting of a vision from Dante's Hell. At this point we stop exploring and sit down.

After a few minutes god's secretary comes into the room and pronounces, 'HE will see you now.'

Hemingway's Death

(5)

This brings us to a reconstruction of the death of Ernest Hemingway from the point of view of Hemingway himself. I caution you that this 'reconstruction' is only fantasy based on science as I understand it. But if my knowlege of science is more or less correct, then this is the way Ernest Hemingway died:

He must have had the muzzle of the shotgun in his mouth. He would have thought his last thoughts, then he would have pulled the trigger. He would not have heard the click of the hammer(s): that much is clear. Nor would he have heard the sound of the explosion(s) which propelled the deadly cargo through his skull. The human brain is woundrous, but needs much time to create sensation. That time was not available to Ernest Hemingway as the load of lead tore through his glorious brain.

The passage of that mass of lead propelled at that immense speed through his brain would have instanteneously rendered EH's brain Non Compos Mentos: Ernest Hemingway would not have suffered in the least. Ernest Hemingway would have 'passed' immediately.

The only remaining question regarding the death of Ernest Hemingway is this: did Ernest Hemingway have any further life? Did he have sensations? Could he think? Could he feel? Could he see? Hear? Taste? Smell? Could he communicate?

Hemingway Did IT

(4)

Back on the idea (stomp!) of death and suicide, I want to revisit 'styles in suicide.' I first became interested in suicide after reading of the death by suicide of Ernest Hemingway. As I recall he blew his brains out with a shotgun! Whoa! This was not an 'attempt' but a completion! An execution! I was impressed. I was a fan of EH, having read at least a handful of his books. He was 'real' to me but suddenly he blew his brains out. Why? I was far from suicide at the time, being a young man with the prospect of a multitude of pussy; yet I was intrigued: Why?

Over the years it gradually dawned on me that as time goes by suicide becomes more and more seductive, and so I began to think about how to do it. I concluded eventually that Hemingway got it right.

(stomp!) As I learned about the brain (boom) I concluded that Hemingway had found the answer to exiting life suddenly, painlessly.

I want to caution you at this point that suicide is not the approved (being gassed here) method of (boom) exiting life: God is against suicide because He would (boom) prefer you to suffer. (stomp!) In fact, The Church teaches us that those who commit suicide go straight to Hell (stomp!) because in executing themselves they avoid the Will of God.

God wants you to suffer for your sins.

Daruma is Staring at Me.

(3)

Daruma is staring at me from the top of my computer as I write this. His message: 'Act sober!'

I'll try. Remaining on the subject of death, I recall reading a book about the Eskimos back in my younger days. The one idea which stuck with me was the Eskimo way of death. When the time came for an old Eskimo to die, sHe would simply leave the igloo (or whatever) in the middle of the night and freeze to death. It was a socio-economic decision. Nowadays Eskimos enjoy the benefits of modern life including, presumably, nursing homes and hospices.

This brings us back to the subject of the value of suffering. Does suffering have value? I think suffering only has value if it improves the individual who did it, otherwise it has no value. It follows that terminal suffering has no value unless you subscribe to the religious view that suffering is redeeming. In that case suffering adds enough plusses to the individual's life that it enables hiR to escape Hell and to hope for Heaven, eventually, despite a possible stint in Purgatory. Any Purgatory can be endured if there is hope of escape to Heaven eventually. To make the example clearer: It is far better to face the prospect of burning in Purgatory for a Billion Years than to face the prospect of burning in Hell forever. You can do a billion years, but forever is daunting.

John Paul The Great

(2)

He survived more or less intact but the Bleriot 11 was not as fortunate.

Regarding the nonsense concerning the death of JPII, what can I say? I plead guilty. But I remember that as I wrote it I had in the back of my mind the picture of a young girl who had just witnessed an appearance of JPII in the Vatican window. After listening to the mostly unintelligable mumblings emmanating from the revered old man in the window she was suddenly presented with a video camera in her face and the question of her reaction to the Pope's little homily. She shrugged hoplessly as if to say, 'I will never understand you adults.'

It was a clear case of, 'the pope wears no panties.'

Why am I writing about this embarrassing moment in Catholic history? I suppose it is because I see JPII as 'John Paul The Great.' Although I am not a believer any more it still pains me to see him this way and to see the people behaving this way. I do not believe that the pain of death is in any way 'redemptory.' It is ugly. True, some exceptional people manage to die beautifully, in hospices, occasionally. But they are the exception. The process itself is ugly. Nature never bothered to adorn that process with beauty for obvious reasons, and if some few can manage it then they are exceptional.

What a Shambles!

(1)

Wow. What a shambles. I even forgot to do the Nova article, 'A Daring Flight,' about Louis Bleriot. By way of making up, it was the history of the person who invented the modern form of the airplane. Bleriot apparently was the first person to put the engine in front and the tail in back. This arrangement resulted is a craft which was inherently stable. A sort of side show to the Nova history of Bleriot's adventures was the story of his grandson, now an old man, who at his ripe old age determined to learn how to fly for the sole purpose of piloting a replica of the Bleriot 11 across the English Channel, replicating the first crossing by his grandfather.

One suspects the old boy's motivation involved more ego than love of flying, and sure enough, after a minute or two of flight he found himself in a right turning spiral. Apparently, the procedure for correcting to level flight escaped him at the critical moment and he crashed ignomineously in full view of the camera, including his own video camera which was trained on his face and the tail assembly at impact.