Bad News for the Jews

(9)

me: This is bad news for the Jews.
lucifer: Be that as it may...
me: Are you claiming that masturbation played a part in human evolution?
lucifer: Exactly. Masturbation was the single most important factor contributing to the eventual success of your species over the other hominid species.
me: You can't be serious.
lucifer. I am serious. Human masturbation not only solidified the channels relating to the human pleasure center, it actually modified the human penis into what YOU so proudly proclaim today.
me: Wow.
lucifer: Exactly.
me: This has obvious implications for modern religion and pediatrics.
lucifer: Exactly. Next Friday night?
me: Date.