I Feel So Guilty

(3)

Hmm. I am on thje verge of violating my word to my latest Kaiser physician (tap) to the effect that I would cooperate with her attempts to save my sorry ass for another ten or twenty years. She does not like (boom) my friday night boozing. Good for her. Good girl. So I feel guilty, knowing that I will have lied to her before the fact. I have done my usual 12-pack of 3.2 beer (boom). It is 2358 local time. But I just poured myself a shot of whiskey, violating the most liberal interpretation (in my favor) of my promise to her.

I just took my first sip. Deed done. Oh well. I lied to her.

I think she thinks that I am some sort of pervert who enjoys a doctor-patient relationship with good-looking young women. Wrong. I choose women because they do not suffer from penis envy. Also, women are more empathic. Furthermore women can not be 'queer' in the sense of being male homosexuals. In chosing a woman I therefore avoid male homosexuals and Jews (and others) who might be suffering from penis envy. I also get a physician who is very unlikely to lack empathy. I think I have achieved that in this case.

But I feel so sorry for her (boom): I willingly ushered her into (thump) my sorry world. I should never have done that to her. I feel so guilty.

Leaky Pathology?

(2)

I suppose that some of you out there are making a connection which suggests that I prefer women with a 'bladder control problem.' Not so. I really have no preference: you have a bladder control problem? No problem. You don't have a bladder control problem? No problem. I should further point out that I have no bladder control problem - at least no physical problem: whenever I pee in my pants I do it for the sheer sensual pleasure of doing it. I love it, but I love pussy more.

I should probably mention also that these last two visits to the HCT were the only 'wet' visits all year. All the other occasions found the canal dry. So it is very possible that many trees on the East Side have bladder control problems which were not evident at the time. After discovering this problem I have learned how to identify a tree with a bladder control problem; so even if the canal is dry I will be able to identify such a tree. Stay tuned. You might be shocked by the leaky pathology out there. Might not.

A Bridge Over Troubled Ground

(1)

Kootch has always known about my 'loaded gun' of course.

I recently decided to do some westward exploration on the Highline Canal. I usually pedal Eastward because there are no stoplights in that direction. But I was curious: were there any fun photographic objects on that part of the trail? Oh yes there were! In fact I discovered several trees with what appeared to be (boom) 'bladder control problems.' Really. In fact, the density of lightening-struck trees seemed to be at least double the number east of Broadway!

On the day in question (and again today) I discovered lightening marks which resembled cunts. Not unusual. But those cunts seemed to have bladder control problems. No kidding. Here is my explanation (really, my conjecture): the canal was flooded by water; all trees were sucking up as much of it as possible; certain trees had been so damaged by lightening strikes that their internal structure had been compromised, allowing water to escape via the lightening scar near the ground. I am certain of this explanation - prove me wrong if you can. I will publish those photos next Friday.

My experience on the East Trail suggested to me that a lightening-struck tree could be found about every 500 feet. But the West Trail suggested that such trees could be found about every 200 feet! Wow!

I also got many photographs (boom) of a bridge over a gulch. The bridge carried the waters of the Highline Canal. The bridge leaked, allowing much water to cascade into the gulch. This bridge confirmed my memories from my airplane times of a 'little river' which flowed over a bridge!

Katie Couric

(1)

And here is yet another tree, struck by lightening. If you enlarge the picture you will be able to see a woman walking her dog. The lightening scar will also become much more prominent.

I am here after having done a piece on 'scratchpad' and another piece on 'Enough...' and having imbibed a generous amount of alcohol. The resulting confusion suggested this temporary refuge. So here I am, for the time being. This is so embarrassing.

I seem to recall publishing a 'blogging points' post in the near past. If I remember correctly, 'Katie Couric' was at the top of the list. So herewith my blog blurb on Katie Couric:

Katie (this will certainly require another beer: standby) has long been a favorite of mine from The Today Show. She moved to CBS and now 'anchors' the CBS Evening News. Katie appears to be fully in charge of that enterprise, and has even directed that 'a new musicical (boom) theme' be adopted for the 'show.' I like it.

In my (not so humble) opinion Katie got off to a shaky start, but improved rapidly with age. I do not like her 'free speach' idea: I am already overly familiar with the various stupid opinions of my fellow man and hardly need to learn any more. Maybe you do, but I doubt it. I think you are as fed up with the stupid opinions of your 'fellow men' as I am. I would suggest to Katie that the various opinions of average idiots are not news. The vast percentage of 'free speech' is stupid speech. We tolerate it only because of the occasional glittering nuggets we find there. To Katie:

Katie, your new viewers are 'The Elite.' We are not the folks who admired your glorious antics on Today. Those folks loved your legs. They loved your laugh. They loved your good looks. They loved your quick and glorious intelligence. They still do. But The CBS Evening News is not exactly the venue for such antics. If you are going (stomp) to shine in this venue you need (much stomping from above as I wrote that) to focus on important information of value to Americans in particular and Mankind in general. Dumbass opinions from dumbasses won't cut it.

Our Readers?

(1)

Shall we do another tree? This is yet another example of how Lightening Strikes seek out innocent trees along the Highline Canal. Does God have something against these trees? One wonders.

In an effort to arrive at the truth about such lightening strikes against trees I decided to favor WHTZSNM with a call: I picked up the Brown Telephone and dialed 666. God knows that I am the only living person who has His number. He must have debated whether to pick up the telephone. He eventually decided in the affirmative.
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gd: Hello
me: Hi. I'm on a mission to understand what exactly it is that You have against the unfortunate trees along the Highline Canal.
gd: Highline Canal?
me: In Denver.
gd: Ah. Denver. I am getting very bad vibes from Denver.
me: We only want to know: Do You have something against the trees along the Highline Canal?
gd: Not exactly.
me: What, then?
gd: You seem to be the victim of a misapprehension: I don't bother with lightening.
me: Why not?
gd: I'm waaaaay too busy for that. I leave that to MN.
me: Mother Nature?
gd: Your characterization, not Mine.
me: Can you tell our readers what it is that keeps You so busy?
gd: Our readers?
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God hung up at that point.