The Importance of Masturbation

(8)

(I think we'd better leave that for next week. When you consort with The Devil you need lots of time to make sense of things. And not only time: you need to tell the absolute truth to The Devil. You can bullshit god. God is highly bullshitable. But The Devil Knows.)

me: Are you suggesting that we have not fully covered the subject at hand?
lucifer: Exactly.
me: I presume that you are referring to masturbation.
lucifer: Exactly.
me: Is there something we should know about masturbation?
lucifer: I know. You don't know.
me: Wrong. I know. YOU don't know.
lucifer: Touche. I meant that you had not allowed me to fully explore male sexuality, especially in regard to masturbation.
me: We now understand each other (thump). Please elaborate.
lucifer: You have failed to sense the glorious synergy of human sexuality.
me: What do you mean?
lucifer: Masturbation was the single most defining aspect of human emergence.
me: What do you mean by that?
lucifer: By that I mean that human masturbation was absolutely essential in the process of - for lack of a better term - 'species improvement.'