I Feel So Guilty

(3)

Hmm. I am on thje verge of violating my word to my latest Kaiser physician (tap) to the effect that I would cooperate with her attempts to save my sorry ass for another ten or twenty years. She does not like (boom) my friday night boozing. Good for her. Good girl. So I feel guilty, knowing that I will have lied to her before the fact. I have done my usual 12-pack of 3.2 beer (boom). It is 2358 local time. But I just poured myself a shot of whiskey, violating the most liberal interpretation (in my favor) of my promise to her.

I just took my first sip. Deed done. Oh well. I lied to her.

I think she thinks that I am some sort of pervert who enjoys a doctor-patient relationship with good-looking young women. Wrong. I choose women because they do not suffer from penis envy. Also, women are more empathic. Furthermore women can not be 'queer' in the sense of being male homosexuals. In chosing a woman I therefore avoid male homosexuals and Jews (and others) who might be suffering from penis envy. I also get a physician who is very unlikely to lack empathy. I think I have achieved that in this case.

But I feel so sorry for her (boom): I willingly ushered her into (thump) my sorry world. I should never have done that to her. I feel so guilty.