Abraham

Right lung gas is fairly persistent and is now present in some small concentration throughout the apartment, so I have turned on the bedroom intake fan.

All this penis modification stuff goes back to Abraham, according to the Very Old Testament. It seems that the Jewish god, WHTZSNM, miscalculated when He invented the human penis. He apparently made it way too sensitive. His original intention seems to have been to 'fill the Earth.' But He later recanted, no doubt due to having had to witness innumerable obscene sexual acts involving innumerable peni, all over the natural world.

So He made contact with Abram. He promised Abram that He would change his name to Abraham. Furthermore He promised the idiot Abram that his stupid handle (his name) would be remembered forever. Abram, idiot that he was, bought the idea. WHTZSNM explained to Abram that he should desensitize every penis in the neighborhood (faint boom) by cutting off the most sensitive portion. Abram began with his own boys, and thereby earned the new name of Abraham. WHTZSNM was pleased.

If you don't believe this you can read it in the very, very Old Testament. I think of Abraham as the most spineless, most stupid person who ever lived.