Hot Breezy Afternoons...

(2)

I ignored them.

I continued to pee in my pants in DeCovend Park for several years after that, enjoying it immensely. I knew by that time that my life as I had known it was over: something very strange was going on and I would never recover in the sense of being thought of as 'normal.' I was forever abnormal. But why?

I read a lot of quasi-religious books there in DeCovend Park while I laid there peeing in my pants on hot breezy summer afternoons: Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh; Carlos Casteneda... I was an Atheist in need of a new Mythology. Christianity was forever closed to me: too dumb. I could never believe it. It was crap.
Castena provided me with the concept of 'the Warrior.' That became my new mythology. Meanwhile BSR educated me concerning my fellow man: my fellow man was a snake. It was a revelation. I had never suspected that. I eventually formulated my current view of my fellow man (and woman): the genetic Bell Curve. Evil was genetic and it pretty much followed the classic Bell Curve. I still believe that. BSR also introduced me to the idea that certain people can become 'enlightened.' Those people resided, so to say, on the other side of the Bell Curve with me. With me!
I still believe that. I know that!

Meanwhile I learned about Ouspensky and others who were recommended by BSR. I made sense of my experiences with LSD in those contexts. I was on the right track!

I read many related works by modern psychological writers. They confirmed my impressions. Meanwhile I continued to enjoy the glorious sensual fellings associated with peeing in my pants on hot breezy afternoons in DeCovend Park.