The Ultimate Torture

(11)

me: Can you tell us anything about the origin of circumcision?
god: I created circumcision.
me: Can you tell us why?
god: It's a long story.
me: Could you tell us succinctly? We have a short attention span.
god: I instituted circumcision in self-defense.
me: Please go on.
god: I hate sex. But I am condemned to watch every sexual act in the Universe. I reasoned that if I could modify the male penis de-sensitationwise, then I would not have to witness so many millions of sexual acts every day and every night.
me: I understand.
god: No. You do not understand. You have no idea what it is like to have to witness every sexual act in The Universe on a 24/7/365 basis. It is the Ultimate Torture.