Fred and Wilma

(12)

Coincidentially I am now on my last beer. As I reread my previous posts I most remembered my pet rats. What an amazing bunch they were! First there was 'Rat' whom I later renamed, 'Wilma.' I named her Wilma when I bought her a male rat which I named, Fred. I bought Fred when it became obvious to me that Wilma was beginning to imprint sexually on me, the only other warm-blooded creature around. There were times when I petted her that she would 'raise her butt,' stiffen, and squeak as if she had just had a rat orgasm. So I deduced that she needed a male rat. I 'rescued' fred from a bunch of rats at the pet store who were scheduled to be fed to the local snake population.

Fred and Wilma got along swimmingly and Wilma produced an astonishing number of little pink rats. In fact, Wilma produced more rats than she had nipples to feed them, so I would often keep a couple of them (the fattest) in my shirt pocket while she nursed the rest. The result was that I became King Rat. That is to say, I was next to their mother in desirability.