Potty Prayer?

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Is god even present during your excremental doings? Shouldn't god be off somewhere else? Doing other things? These are important questions. Why?

Because if god is really there in the potty when you take a shit then logically there should be a prayer relating to your immediate potty concerns: there should be a 'Potty Prayer.' How would such a prayer go? I can only speculate.

Presuming that god is there with you in the potty when you take a shit (or a piss) it seems to me that such a potty prayer ought to be directed at possible in-potty disasters. For example: Suppose that you are terminally constipated. Suppose you are sitting on the potty reading The End of Faith. You are not at all satisfied with the way things are going otherwise and you are inclined to seek out suggestions from god.

Should there be a prayer which covers that situation?

And if so, can you suggest a possible verbal sequence?