Are You a Cardinal?

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Question: Can faith move a grain of sand?

No. Otherwise the dumbass Judeo-Christian-Muslim dumb-dumbs out there would have enlisted modern science to prove their point. Faith can't move even a single electron.

Question: 'Are you a Cardinal?' Answer: 'You bet your sweet ass I am.' This is the subject of the moment. As I get drunker and drunker I am reminded of my experience with actual 'friends.' This was back in 'the old days.' Nowadays I have no friends, hence no reputation. But back in the old days when I had 'friends' I would occasionally go out with them on drunken parties. During those parties I would attempt to make all of my friends 'Cardinals.' 'Becoming a Cardinal' was dependent on performing flawlessly a certain ritual. If you performed the ritual you became a Cardinal. If you failed the ritual for whatever reason you remained a Jew or whatever, forever. Here is the ritual:

You announce to those persons sitting around the table with you that Cardinal Puff is about to take his first drink. Then you slap your right index finger on the table one time. Then you slap your left index finger in the table one time. Then you stomp your left foot on the floor one time. Then you stomp your right foot on the floor one time.