Drowned Jesus

(14)

Before I pee in my pants I imagine that Jesus is lurking there. I imagine that Jesus is there in my underpants. I imagine that Jesus is there for the purpose of seeing whether I will play with my uncircumcised penis on the day in question. I imagine that if I do indeed play with my uncircumcised penis or actually masturbate to orgasm on that day that Jesus will dutifully report such to WHTZSNM, His daddy in the sky.

So having set the scene I warn Jesus with these words (more or less): 'Get out of my pants Jesus! You fucking pervert! Out!'

If I feel that Jesus is still there in my underpants then He deserves what he gets. I release the constraints on my bladder with gusto and if the result is 'Drowned Jesus' then so be it.