Wednesday, August 03, 2005

Homoerotomania

(5)

The result was that I never found any form of 'support' in (tap) those two circles.

There was another crucial aspect to my problem: I had systematically (tap) cut off all contacts with other people. Part of this was an automatic result of being unemployed, but in the 'early years' (1980's) I made a conscious effort to avoid old friendships in order to eliminate folks who might be 'interested in screwing up my life.' In the early '90s I came to the conclusion that the only logical candidate was Walter Gerash and I eventually verified Gerash as my 'nemesis.' At the time I had no idea of 'obsession' or 'stalking:' I decided that Gerash's problem with me was an obscene case of 'Jewish penis envy.'

But it was much deeper than that: Walter Gerash was in love. (no tap!) Psychologists call it, 'erotomania.' I was wrong. Penis envy had little or nothing to do with it. Walter Gerash suffered from the much more debilitating problem of Obsessive Homosexual Love.