And Why Weren't You Wearing a Diaper?

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Is it a crime to pee in your pants in Colorado? My experience to date has been that it is not. Furthermore I would suggest that pants-peeing is not prosecutable anywhere in the USA. The prosecution problem has to do with motive: did you pee in your pants in order to excite the local police? The local sheriff's department? And if so, how could the local DA prove that to a jury? And why would it try? Is your underlying problem actually mechanical? Do you have a bladder-control problem? If so, what jury would convict you? Could you eliminate seniors from a prospective jury?

That's the problem. What was your motive for peeing in your pants in the park? And why was the local Chief of Detectives interested in your pants-peeing behavior? Is he queer? Does he love watching men pee in their pants? Should he be defeated in the next election?

These questions are very pertinent, and would be of interest to a jury.

And why weren't you wearing a diaper?

And if so, what difference would that have made?