We Welcome You

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You probably think I'm kidding about that. Not so. Pants-pee-ers love Colorado because of the low humidity. You can pee in your pants at (boom) 1300 and they will be virtually dry at 1500 due to the low humidity, especially if there is a strong breeze. As Colorado's pre-eminent authority on the subject I have defined the conditions for best pants-peeing as follows: Humidity less than 30 percent; strong breeze; private area (eheh); plenty of time. Under such ideal conditions you can enjoy the glorious feeling of peeing in your pants for literally hours on end. One other criterion has to do with local temperature: 50 degrees or more is 'shortable;' 70 degrees or more is 'flashable;' 80 degrees or more is 'peeable;' '90 degrees or more is,' Very, very, very, peeable' indeed desirable. In other words, you need to be careful about not only temperature but privacy: you do not want to pee in your pants if somebody from the ACSD is watching, especially with a telescope attached to a camera. That's a no-no.

And, make no mistake: Gerash owns (tap) the ACSD. You can take refuge in the knowlege that the folks involved would never try to prosecute you (persecute you) based on any kind of objective evidence because such a prosecution would suggest a bizarre homosexual motive.

So if you want to move to Colorado and pee in your pants in the Summertime, in our many public parks, then by all means do so.

We welcome you.