Furnace Malfunction

(5)

All italics, of course, were the author's. I'm usually way too lazy for italics.

Which brings up to this week's awards. This week's 300 Club award is shared jointly by the State of Kansas and Pat Robertson. The Einstein award goes to the voters of Dover, Pa.

'CO incident' refers to a note in my gas log concerning another manifestation of Judeo-faggot mischief: furnace malfunction. I had been aware of a 'gas smell' for at least several minutes before it occured to me to check it out. I retrieved the CO monitor from Kootch's room (Kootch was out for the morning) and waved it around in my room. After a minute or two the device read more than 300ppm. The device usually reads zero. So I turned up the fans and the device returned to zero after several minutes. There have been no further incidents since, but these 'incidents' have a history dating back several years.

The very first time the CO monitor started beeping was the day Kootch left for Japan for her annual vacation. I had just installed exhaust fans in the living room and had turned them on that evening suspecting an extremely heavy gas attack on that occasion. The CO monitor went off sometime during the evening as I was at the computer. At first I thought that an attempt was being made on my life (us stalkees tend to be very paranoid). So I turned off the furnace and that solved the problem. We lived without the furnace for the rest of the season.

But one day, while the exhaust fans in the living room were at full power, I walked by the furnace and noticed an air flow OUT of the furnace door grill at about face level. It hit me then that the low pressure created by the exhaust fans had cause the furnace exhaust to exit from the 'alternate chimney' (for lack of a more technical term). This opening is located near the top of the furnace and is relatively cool during normal operation.