Holy Oil

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I did a little research on Google today concerning the subject, 'holy oil.' I was looking for the Jewish holidays which celebrate the ancient incident where the temple in Jerusalem had run out of oil to light the temple lamps. Due to time constraints I had to abandon the search.

But I remember that there is a Jewish holiday (or Holy Days) which celebrate that ancient occasion. Seems that in spite of calculations to the contrary the temple lights continued to burn. This was taken by Jews to be a 'miracle from God' and has been celebrated ever since.

To the mystical Jewish mind, God replenished the oil in those lamps.

But my mind is practical not mystical. So I conjured up the most likely scenerio: many male Jews had a goodly supply of olive oil which they used for masturbation. Hearing that the temple was short of oil, they made the decision to tap their private supply.

Of course this had to be done more or less surrepticiously. What Jewish male could admit that he had tapped into his private stash?

That is my conjecture concerning those Jewish holy days so long ago. Would it not be ironic if I am right and that a significant Jewish religious celebration is actually based on the need for olive oil in the average Jewish household?