Candid Camera

(2)

His reaction was remarkable: he laughed suddenly and (it seemed to me) sadly, as if he had been made the butt of a joke. He replied that he was Jewish (but did not mention his sexual preference), and that in view of this fact, wondered whether it would be appropriate for him to be cutting on my nose. I must admit that I admired his personal ethic. I told him that I had no objection to him cutting on my nose so long as he promised not to cut off any more of it than was absolutely necessary. He thought about that for a minute, then declined. He suggested that I seek out another surgeon. I asked him for recommentations.

He left the office for a few minutes, and I could tell, by the way he was talking to his assistants, that he was very angry. He returned with the name of a female physician. He said, 'I'm sorry you have a vendetta against The Jews.'

I replied that, 'You got me all wrong, Doc: I Don't have a vendetta against the Jews. I don't do anything to Jews. Jews do things to me.'

A couple of weeks later I arrived at the downtown clinic again, very curious about the new surgeon. She turned out to be a black women. I thought it very ironic that I had gone from a Jew to a Black in one step. I wondered whether this was an improvement... or not.

The woman turned out to be totally unacceptable. She tried her best to scare me. She examined the inside of my nose as she explained that that particular carcinoma was called a 'rodent' (tap just above me) cancer and that she was looking for signs that it had invaded my nasal areas. We made an appoint for the actual surgury and then she took me to the desk for a full facial photograph, close up. She explained that this photograph was for their records. They snapped the picture, and I was done until the next appointment.