Only I Was Normal

(3)

I don't walk with God, of course. God creeps me out. The idea that God is interested in what goes on in my shorts - for example whether I am currently masturbating - is a grotesque religious idea to me. I do not like such a god. How is that any of His Business? Is God queer?

When I was a dumbass teenager I confessed all my 'sexual offenses' to 'God' in confession. The priests seemed to be astonished by my sins, but my sins seemed to be very natural to me.

Nowadays I understand that my sexual behavior was normal and that the behavior of the priests was abnormal; the behavior of God was also abnormal. Only I was normal.

Only I am still normal.