The Jewish Mother

(9)

After I signed off just now I began to investigate the web site, www.edge.org. There I found an irresistable (to me) article titled, 'Why it can be a very smart move to start life with a Jewish momma.' What an opportunity!

So I hereby take issue with the author of that article (a Jewish female). I claim that it might be very smart to start life with a Jewish mother if you are female - but maybe not. I claim that, other things being equal, it is dumb - nay, very dumb - to start life with a Jewish mother if you are male.

The reason is this: Your Jewish father will insist on circumcising you on the eighth day. Your Jewish mother will go along, weeping for you theatrically, but she will go along. She will then spend the rest of her life 'making it up to you.' If you are female there is nothing for her to 'make up.' Hence the famous reputation of 'Jewish Mothers.'

But no mother can make up for the resulting lack of penile sensation which you will carry with you for a lifetime.