A Celestial Disaster

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Before I get too drunk tonight we need to revisit my conversations with god concerning the creation of the universe. You may recall that god 'farmed out' the design of the universe to his brightest angels. They took 24 million years to design the universe from scratch, then presented their plan to god. They then attempted to explain their plan to god in great detail; however god, being a generalist, was put off by all the scientific nitty-gritty and rebuffed the group of talented angels. God then spoke the recommended words, 'Let there be light,' and everybody in the vicinity was damn near killed by the resulting big bang.

God was obviously too impulsive in that particular case. If he had taken the time to listen to the full story that the angels were trying to present to him he would have taken the recommended precautions and got everybody and every thing as far away as possible from that tiny point in space where everything began. But nooooo. He spoke the magic words prematurely. It was the first 'premature ejaculation' in history and as a result a lot of very smart angels got their butts burned unnecessarily. It was, in short, a celestial disaster.