Sister Marcella

(7)

At this point I need to interrupt my interview with god. I must tell you that the interview went on and on for several hours and I learned a lot about god from that interview. I intend to publish further excerpts next Friday night.

As I came to know and understand god I mellowed somewhat. Here was an old man who was extremely confused by the world around him, and who thought that he was actually in control. I almost felt sorry for him... not quite.

But right now I prefer to address a subject brought up in last week's entry: the history of my devirginization.

I was a virgin for way too long. My hormones began to stir at an early age and were in full bloom by the time I was twelve. I remember having spontaneous orgasms as early as the age of six while I was running. The memory of those events is dim except for their astonisning quality: I would be running along for whatever reasons and suddenly my body between my waist and my knees would be bathed in a glorious golden sensation. I rembember clearly that as the sensation progressed I would stop 'running' as such and would begin to rapidly stamp my feet in place until the feeling disappeared. These were my first orgasms but I had no idea at the time what they were.

At the age of 11 or 12 I experienced orgasm 'artificially' by masturbation and I thought that (being gassed here with RLG!) I had invented a wonderful new process. I eventually realized that my personal experience was actually a universal experience and I enjoyed the experience mostly at night under the covers. But one fine day a priest named, 'Father Murphy' (stomp!) volunteered to me that 'playing with myself' was a mortal sin for which I could be sentenced to Hell forever. The good father then suggested that if I wished to avoid Hellfire I should confess all my sins of masturbation every Saturday afternoon at Confession. To him, of course.

Which I did. But hormones overcame religion and I continued to masturbate, sometimes several times a day. I was literally incapable of thinking rationally in the heated state. I would masturbate at the urinal, in my classroom, in my bed, on the potty, and in those days when I was hot I could get off in less than thirty seconds. I got very good at it over the years.

But as I grew older I began to tease myself by stopping just before the critical moment, and as I got better and better at that practice I discovered that I could enjoy the situation almost indefinitely. It became a skill which would allow me to wait for my female pardner to come first.

I should mention that once in the sixth grade while I was reaching in my pocket for a pencil I attracted the attention of my teacher (a nun, possibly Sister Marcella). The woman called me out into the hall and accused me of masturbating. I was innocent of that particular charge, but I had indeed jerked off in her class a multitude of times. Perhaps she chose that innocent moment to confront me. I like to think so. I like to think that whereas she knew that my behavior was innocent she chose that moment to confront me.

I love her for that.