What?!

(5)

me: Thank you for showing up for this interview.
god: Did I have a choice?
me: If you don't mind I should like to begin by establishing your credentials. Are you the real author of the Old Testament?
god: I AM.
me: Did you lie at any time in that document?
god: I did not.
me: Does that document contain Eternal Truth?
god: It does.

(Having got god to make the above statements I relaxed somewhat and engaged him in a bit of humerous banter for which he seemed quite grateful. But after a few minutes of this I continued with my agenda:)

me: Some people say of you that you are a 'Bronze-age Bumpkin with minimal people skills.' How do you respond to them?
god: I will respond to them in due time.
me: One of the reasons for this interview is to establish whether or not you are or were intelligent enough to create our glorious universe. Do you understand?
god: I understand more than you think.
me: Good. In the questions which follow I will seek to discover how intelligent you really are. You might be offended by some of my questions.
god: I'm sure of that!
me: The first series of 'questions' involves an 'association test.' Do you know what I mean?
god: I do.
me: Chosen People.
god: The Jews.
me: excellent! Circumcision.
god: The indelible sign of solidarity between Me and My Chosen People.
me: Promised Land.
god: Israel.
me: The Dead Sea.
god: Israel.
me: Desert.
god: Israel.
me: Arab Enemies.
god: Israel.
me: Hawaii.
god: What?!