Solitary Sin

(7)

Who is watching you?

This was the subject of another story on the Evening News tonight. I had to laugh. Let me explain:

When I was twelve or thirteen I was informed by a priest that God was watching me. He told me that God watched me 24/7. That priest (Catholic Priest) told me that God literally observed me in real time, 24/7, and that nothing that I did - even under the covers - escaped His notice. He made it very clear to me that God was especially interested in what I did with my penis in the dead of the night, and that if I 'abused myself' it was a sin in 'the eyes of God.' He encouraged me to confess such sins in the interest of my Salvation. He suggested that the term, 'self abuse' would be the magic term whereby the priest would understand that I had jerked off. He suggested that I should use this term and furthermore I should indicate how many times I had done it since my last confession.

In those days I was a naive child, and so I 'confessed my sins' to the same priest who had warned me about God's aversion to self-sex. He must have loved every minute of those pathetic little confessions.