Very Rare

(2)

For a brief time in the late '70s I owned an airplane, a Citabria. I used to fly it around the Denver area, sometimes taking Kootch or Jenny or Kathy, or one of my friends along for the ride. The story of the recent crash reminded me of the time I had a 'control problem' in the Citabria. (I think the tail number of the airplane was 4342V, but a quick search for the photographs did not turn it up. Could be 4243V).

Anyway, one fine day my friend and I (friend's name was Stan Paules - we were both working for Honeywell Information Systems at the time) were flying the Citabria when something extremely unusual happened: Stan, in the rear seat, flying the airplane, said, "The controls don't work!" I turned around and watched Stan demonstrate the truth of his experience as he moved the stick around with no effect. I immediately felt my own stick and determined that the front seat controls worked. This was a very unusual situation, in fact, unprecedented! But apparently I had the presense of mind to pull a little joke out of it: I made 'control movements' in the front seat and reported back to Stan that 'Mine don't work either.'

Stan almost literally jumped out of his seat and yelled, 'What!?' right in my ear. He must have released his seat belt for this demonstration. At this point I took poor Stan into my confidence, demonstrating that I had control.

But I consider my little joke on this occasion to have been the ultimate demonstration of 'cool in the face of catastrophe.' We took the airplane back to the airport and I sent it in for repair. I suspect sabotage of course. Walter Gerash, filthy Jewish Queer, was stalking me back in those days too, and I have no doubt whatsoever that he was involved. Whether or not you agree with me on this, I think you will have to admit that this sort of thing is very rare.

I would often fly novices from the rear seat. In fact, if you consult Stan, he will tell you that I landed the Citabria from the rear seat one fine day in a strong crosswind which he had tried but failed from the front seat. I wonder what would have been the result if, say, the rear seat controls had failed when Jenny and I were flying, and I was piloting from the rear seat.